People who are good, kind, selfless, and hardworking for the welfare of others will be very deeply loved, very deeply respected wherever they go. It is a simple law of human nature that we love the highest. We want to be like such people, and we want to lead the kind of life they lead. ~Easwaran
I sometimes wonder from day to day how to be more like these people, the person that everyone is just drawn to the moment she walks into the door. They are like a ray of sunshine entering the room while others are like a gloomy cloud. I don’t know about you but I want to be like a light even if it’s just a little bitty ray to begin with. How do you know if you’re a cloud or ray of sunshine?
How do you know if you’re a gloomy cloud?
- Are you constantly thinking of yourself and what’s going on in your life?
- Do you wait for others to come talk to you?
- Do you complain about your life?
- Do you constantly talk about yourself?
- Are you judgmental and talk negatively of others?
If you’re an introvert like me you might find it difficult to come up with what to say to keep a conversation going. My grandma always says certain people have the gift to gab. This is not an ability I possess. I always fall back on a few questions, ask them sincerely, and listen intently. We all want to make people feel good and one way to do this is to ask them questions.
Be Likeable. Ask Questions.
Plus it makes you more likeable and likeable people go much farther in life. Here’s 50 to get you started.
Exercise was and is my catalyst for change. I completely lacked confidence when I was younger. I didn’t think I was pretty, smart, or that people even liked me. It all started with running, getting my relationships straight, and yoga literally changed my whole life. I’m happy with the way I look. I’m about to receive my doctorate of pharmacy degree and I have an amazing support system. I’ve seen it in others as well. They start working out, losing weight, and along comes mental strength as well.
Alright, I have something to confess. I’ve been dreading my workouts lately. I haven’t been able to put my finger on it. Last week I even let myself take almost a full week off…gasp! I’ve been asking myself why? I’m by no means a perfect workout specimen. I exercise for the other benefits like increased energy, clear thinking, optimal wellness, preventative medicine, etc… Since I am on rotations (equivalent to paying to work), there’s not much room to pay to workout as well.
I’ve thought, maybe I’m bored. Yesterday was the first day I’ve enjoyed working out.
We all know too much stress is bad for us and too little means we’re not motivated to action. For each of us there’s a sweet spot that optimally moves us forward in the right direction. Recently, I had been overwhelmed…almost a sense of anxiety. I had a thousand different thoughts swirling around in my head.
1. How am I going to get a job after graduation? 2. Should I apply to a residency? 3. Why won’t this last 10lbs come off of me?
The last week-and-a-half have made me feel uncomfortable to say the least. I’ve been in skills labs completing the labs the campus students have already finished. We go to labs once in the morning and once in the afternoon with each session having 4-30minute activities to complete in 2 hours.
Sometimes I’ve panicked. Sometimes I felt confident. Other times felt discouraged and just went through the motions. Overall, it has stretched me and helped me practice how to collect myself as a professional. It was interesting to see.
Here’s what I’ve learned.
My journey began long before I started pharmacy school. I knew when I was a little girl I would pursue a career which would require an advanced degree. I did not know what it was, how to get there, how long it would take, or how many tears would be shed along the way. It’s been a long journey with many people to thank along the way.
First Bachelor’s Degree: After high school, I pretty much went out swinging blindfolded. I ended up with a bachelor’s from a Bible college. While there though, I saw one of the professors being awarded for receiving her doctorate. She was so well put together, polished, and proud and I thought to myself one day I will do that too.
Second Bachelor’s Degree: I went back to school and received a bachelor’s in cell and molecular biology. Trust me, it was hard but there was an amazing amount of confidence that was built during this time. I have to particularly thank Dr. Christopher Field for believing in me. For some reason he chose me to teach his genetics labs. I can’t tell you how much my confidence grew because of this experience. Thank you for listening to me, loaning me your handkerchief, pushing me to forge on, writing my letter of recommendation, and for being family to me.
Morning routines. You may shutter at the sound of those two words. I have for years. One, I feel like I’m a creative person who doesn’t thrive on routine. I like to do things when it feels right. Two, I’m not a morning person. Three, why do I need a morning routine since I’ve survived this long without one? Four, how do you actually consistently wake up early anyway?
As you can see, I’ve been resistant for years but also trying to create a routine that works for me at the same time. Yes, I could wake up if I had to be somewhere for something or someone else but what about being there for me? Creating that me time. Getting my workout in. Just piddling. Slowly drinking my coffee. Meditating. Reading for personal growth. Eating a nutritious breakfast….slowly. Working on creating these blog posts. Well let me tell you I’ve finally found a way. It takes some effort but it’s worth it.
Have you heard the tape player playing in your mind? I’m not good enough. I’m not attractive enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not__________ fill in the blank. Well, I’m an example of this. I had very little confidence in my early twenties. My tape player said, “I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. People don’t like me.”
None of which was true but I lived what my tape recorder said. I was in a relationship which was not positive for me. I didn’t allow myself to make lasting friendships. I didn’t have the self-confidence to pursue my career. Slowly but surely, I realized my tape player was wrong and I replaced it with positive messages. I am pretty enough. I married an amazingly handsome, goodhearted man. I am smart enough. In one year I will receive my doctorate degree to practice as a pharmacist. People do like me. I’m surrounded by people who believe in me. You can change your tape recorder too. Here’s how.
Ever wonder how some people seem to have it together when it comes to their relationships? Not all of us grew up with a great example of what love should be. We may have seen bits and pieces of love in several different individuals but not the whole package.
I grew up thinking love was grandiose and even went through a time when I thought it wasn’t worth investing in. I was burnt out on love. Then life changed. I changed. I was ready to learn to love. I was scared to death because I had built a huge brick wall around my heart which I had to knock down one brick at a time. I met my DeMarco, who I had an instant connection with. I thought I guess he’s worth trying out this whole love thing. At the same time I was learning about love from Easwaran’s books. He said, “Love is in the give-and-take of everyday relationships.” It’s about the little things in life.